“Can you give me some pointers on dating a black woman. I’m a small white guy and I’ve heard all the jokes from Chapelle about dating black women. I know this sounds racist but I really don’t know what to expect.”
Well buddy, it doesn’t necessarily sound racist, but you definitely sound ignorant as fuck. Dave Chapelle is a fucking comedian. Why are you listening to him about black women? I get that cultural differences can exist, but a woman is a woman. Are Black women some kind of new species of human? Fucking mutants like X-Men or something?
“Well, she’s a woman man. I don’t know her, but if you’ve been on a date the same rules apply. Be nice, respectful, ask her questions, get her talking. You know, stuff you do when you meet someone new.”
“Really, but I’m white. I mean, I’ve watched a lot of shows and black women seem a bit rough.”
Is this the type of thinking that going on in Gringolandia? Black people are like the Borg or something. One mind, one thought. Doesn’t he realize that the black diaspora is as vast as the white? But I'm not surprised considering who it’s coming from. This is the same guy who thinks every black dude has a dick down to the floor, loves basketball and hip hop. Probably one of those guys who believes (but won’t say openly) that black people are the best athletes due to slavery. Master breed those big strong black guys to work hard in the field and that later translates to the court. Yet those same folks are lazy. Whatever.
“Man, stop watching TV. You can’t base your perception on that. You have to actually talk to her. That’s it”
“That’s it”
“Yes”
“But what if some black dudes see me with her. I’m a small white guy. I don’t want to get jumped.”
WTF? I’m sure a white guy getting jumped by some big black dudes for being with a black woman in public is as common as transgender women attacking “normal” women in the bathrooms. As in it ain’t scientific significant. Where does this shit come from? I should have asked him if he knew of any incidents. Historically speaking it’s usually the black man/white woman that got you invited to the necktie party. Though in my own family, I know my great-great-great white grandfather had to run from the Great state of Georgia with my black grandmother due to miscegenation laws. Only think racist white folks hate worst than niggers are nigger-lovers. Maybe he should be warily of the white guy.
“Dude, no one’s gonna jump you. You may get a few odd looks, but I highly doubt you’ll be jumped. It’s not that serious.”
“OK, but all you can tell me is to be myself?”
"Yes, it’s just gonna be you and her on the date.”
“Well what shouldn’t I say?”
“Dude, are you serious? Have you never been on a date? No religion no politics? Also, don’t tell her that you’re the first black woman you’ve ever taken on a date. It sounds fetish-y. She’s alrealy aware that you’re white and she’s black. If she already agreed, I think she ‘s comfortable with it. You should be too.”
“Alright man, I’ll take your word for it”
Later that week, homey comes into the office after a date with homegirl and judging by the lipstick smeared all over his face it must have went well.
“Dude, you were right. I was just myself. We had a great time”
“Told you. A woman is a woman man.”
He gives me a hug and head upstairs. Maybe one day he’ll realize that people are people and the sky is blue. Everyone’s just trying to find a little company and get laid.