Damn, man these gay guys are fucking aggressive. If this is a tenth of what women have to endure from men, no wonder they're complaining about us all the time. This fucker won't quit. I'm stuck behind this desk too. Trapped like a rat.
"Don't you want some of this man pussy" Elvis says. "It's better than your wife's. I suck a mean dick too."
"Naw man, I'm all set." I say " I'm straight. Sorry man, I can't help you in that department."
"But you can" Elvis proclaims " I just want to choke on your cock."
Damn man, this shit only happens when this guy is drunk. And tonight, homeboy is hammered. God be merciful.
"Dude, I can't help you" I say again. " I'm straight. I don't do dick. I love the ladies. Don't you guys have apps for this shit like Tinder or Grinder? Some kind of website like www. INEEDDICK.com to help you out?"
Elvis laughs. He takes another gulp of whatever spirit he's been indulging in all night.
"What if I put on a wig?"
"No"
"But I want to get fucked. I'm tired of guys thinking because I'm black I have to be the top. I want to get fucked in my ass too." Elvis says. Apparently, this is a problem in the gay community. Sterotypes suck man.
" Naw man, you're barking up the wrong tree." I reply. It's my standard answer for his drunken advances. " My ass reads EXIT ONLY, know what I mean"
Elvis laughs again. " How about 500?"
"No"
"1000??"
"No"
"5000?" Elvis says while pouting because he already knows my answer.
"Sorry amigo, I'm not one of those undercover brothers playing for both teams" I said. We've had this conversation many of time, but clearly his drunken brain can't seem to accept my claim.
"You fucking suck." Elvis says loudly while stomping away. He stops before rounding the corner to call for an elevator. "How about a mercy fuck or something/ Just a suck little BJ??"
"NOOOOOOOOOO"
"Fuck you" he says and heads over to push the call button for the elevator. I can hear the bell indicating which elevator has opened up its doors to take him upstairs. He peeps his head around the corner again. " Because I really want too" then dashes into the elevator before the door closes.
Aaahhhh, Fucking Elvis